Valentine’s Day and throughout the year, we turn our attention to love, chocolate and sex. Walking through stores full of red hearts, pink greeting cards and specially wrapped boxes of candy, our cravings for closeness and chocolate intensifies.
Since the time of ancient civilizations, there has been a connection between, sex, love and chocolate. In Central America, cacao was being used by the Mayans and the Aztecs. The Mayan word for chocolate, “xocolatl” means “bitter water”, which describes how they consumed chocolate at every meal. Chocolate was also called the “food of the gods,” which is also the meaning of “Theobroma cacao,” the scientific name for the cacao tree. In this culture there was a belief that chocolate had a euphoric and revitalizing impact on the body.
Explorers were introduced to the power of chocolate by watching the Aztec Emperor Montezuma drink a large quantity of “chocolatl,” before entering his harem. The invading Spaniards carried the belief that cocoa was an aphrodisiac to Europe. Eventually this belief spread throughout the continent was eventually picked up by Giacomo Casanova, one of the world’s most well-known lovers.
At the beginning of the nineteenth century, a poet wrote on the effect of chocolate on women.
Twill make old women young and fresh;
Create new motions of the flesh.
And cause them long for you know what,
If they but taste of chocolate.’
- James Wadworth (1768-1844)
In recent times, popular movies and books such as “Chocolat”, “Bread and Chocolate”, and “Like Water for Chocolate,” reflect this theme. Today, the age-old custom of bringing a woman chocolate to win her affection has now been proven to be effective, by scientists studying behavior and chemical reactions in the brain after consuming chocolate.
In Italy, a university study found that women who eat chocolate showed higher levels of sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction than those who do not indulge. Dutch researchers found that after eating chocolate, women have more brain activity that produces feelings of reward and satisfaction. Another study showed that 90% of women crave chocolate, while men crave heartier foods such as steak and hamburgers.
Chocolate is as much a drug as it is a food. It contains hundreds of substances that affect our brain chemistry and physiology. For example, chocolate stimulates the release of chemicals such as nitric oxide, which controls blood flow and lubrication throughout the body, including the sexual organs. Chocolate also increases the flexibility and function of the small blood vessels vital to sexual activity and reduces inflammation that prevents them from working in an arousing way.
A romantic evening can be enhanced with the addition of dark chocolate. Eating chocolate heightens sexual arousal by triggering mood lifting endorphins in the brain that increase desire. The infusion of the “love hormone” PEA (phenyl-ethylamine) stimulates the release of dopamine which excites the pleasure centers of the brain, creating a feeling of euphoria and increasing the heart rate, which is associated with falling in love and having an orgasm.
While eating chocolate might be a shortcut to a fleeting state of bliss, here are some ideas for making the feeling last through connecting with your partner and having satisfying sex.
Start with desire – wanting to have sex with the person you love because it makes you feel good and then adding to that wonderful feeling by bringing your partner pleasure. The next step is to take the time to create the atmosphere to connect.
Once the moment arrives and you are together with your partner, try these tips for enhancing your sexual satisfaction.
1. Eat dark chocolate. The market place is full of all kinds of chocolate treats, much of which is full of sugar, dairy and other additives and will not have the desired effect on body chemistry.
• To get the maximum benefit, chocolate must contain over 70% cacao. Chocolate manufacturers now have many delicious varieties of dark chocolate from all over the world and mark the percentage of cacao on their packaging. The darker the chocolate, the better it is.
• Try organic chocolate which tastes great, is healthier and better for the environment.
• Eat up to 2-4 ounces regularly.
2. Be in the moment and connect. Today’s hectic lifestyle with busy schedules, endless phone calls, text messages and emails, an unstable economy and other stressors, make it challenging to stop, relax and enjoy intimate time with our partner.
• Allow yourself to let go of your daily concerns and be present.
• Pay attention to what your partner is saying.
• Maintain eye contact with your partner while having sex.
3. Communicate your desires. Often we misunderstand each other by making assumptions that the other person knows what we are thinking or that we know what the other person wants.
• Negotiate the activities of the evening in advance, clearly stating your preferences.
• Be honest and direct.
• Tell your partner what makes you feel good and ask your partner what he/she desires.
4. Breathe. As we race through our day, we often forget to stop for a moment and take a deep breath. When we are tired, taking some quick, charging breaths can wake us up.
• If you are nervous, take a few deep slow breaths through your nose into your stomach. Inhale to the count of 4; hold to the count of 4 and exhale to the count of 8.
• In order to enhance your sexual experience, try breathing with your partner before and during sex. Take a few short breaths into your chest by inhaling and softly sighing the exhale through your mouth. Do this in sets of five, stopping to get grounded by feeling your feet on the floor or bed and looking each other in the eyes.
5. Laugh and enjoy yourself! Laughter is a wonderful all body release that helps us relax. Having fun leads to having more satisfying sex.
• Smile at your partner and set the intention of sharing a pleasurable time.
• Use humor to get through awkward moments.
• Take the pressure off by joking around and having fun.
The next time you want to have satisfying sex, don’t forget the (dark) chocolate. Sign up for information on the upcoming release of my new e-book, “Sex, Chocolate and Other Cravings: Seven Steps to Satisfying Sex, ” at www.Transformationtherapy.com or send an e-mail to darlene@transformationtherapy.com
Disclaimer: This article is not meant to provide mental health advice and is for general information only. Always seek the insights of a qualified professional if you feel you need professional help of any kind. Copyright © 2008 Darlene Basch, All Rights Reserved. If you want to use this article on your website or in your ezine, contact me for permission.
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